SAY CHEESE

I’ve never worked inside a fast-food restaurant, so I’m not sure, but there must be a high level of pressure to sell cheese.  I’ve noticed, especially at a drive-through speaker, that saying the words, ‘No Cheese” has an adverse effect on the proficiency of the servers. It is a simple instruction, but the presumption of cheese is so powerful that it causes bad things to happen.  After saying “No cheese”, all bets are off!  

      I’ve been sneered at and told to pull into a special parking spot to wait, like a kindergartner in a classroom corner. I have been given an entirely different meat than what I ordered.  Does no cheese sound like fish filet? I have received sandwiches with extra cheese hanging off the sides of the sandwich. I have opened my sandwich wrapping to find nothing but two buns with cheese in between -- twice!  How can an intelligent person take two quarter pounder buns, put 2-4 pieces of cheese on it, refrain from inserting a hamburger patty, and believe they got your order right?  All I can figure is, the presumption of cheese is so strong that servers hear nothing but the word cheese – and its Katie-bar-the-door after that.    

     The frustrations brought into my life by the presumptive practices of the cheese pushers has given me reason to pause and ask myself -- Do I make assumptions about people?  Do I have set answers already prepared to give out even if they don’t fit the request?  In this recent election cycle, one of the candidates often answers whatever question was asked with the phrase, “I grew up in a middle-class family”.  Deflection is often a motive behind pre-prepared answers, but for most of us it is probably more related to indifference, over-confidence or pride.

     Solomon addressed the practice when he coupled a haughty heart with answering a matter before the matter is actually heard.  He went on to add that doing so is shameful. In other words, drawing a conclusion without proper inquiry and pondering the response is foolish.  Assuming things about people can be very irritating to those about whom you are assuming something.

     Have you ever assumed you knew what were someone’s thoughts, feelings or motives? If you have, you probably treated them according to your assumption. That may work out fine if your assumption is right, but what if you are wrong?  The results can be both unfair and insulting.  It is always unwise to assume, but it is even more unwise to act upon your assumptions.  Why don’t we just give others the benefit of the doubt until we have all the information required to draw a conclusion?  We could ask questions and listen to the answers.  We should refrain from reading between the lines – we are not as good at it as we think.

      Imagine how many arguments could be avoided and how many relationships could be helped, if we all just stopped assuming things about others and just listened to them. Doing so requires us setting aside our pre-determined agendas and hoped-for outcomes and then listening to one another. If we love each other the way Jesus told us to, we would demand this of ourselves.

      Like the drive through servers who fail to absorb the word “No” when they hear the word “cheese” we often listen selectively to what someone is saying.  Let them finish before responding. Ask a follow-up question before you offer advice. Assume you do not know all that you think you know.  Solomon offered a simple but profound truth in Pro. 18:12-13 … “before honor is humility”.  My humility open our ears to what people are really saying so our answer may impart grace.

Proverbs 18:12-13 -Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility. He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.